Wednesday, April 2, 2014

YWW 2014

YWW, Term 1, 2014

This term our young writers worked with tutor Rachel. They explored writing a scenario from many different perspectives. Children had to spend time discussing their writing to ensure that commonalities and concrete observations remained consistent.

Here is their finished work. 

                                          Sarah - the customer’s side of the story 
Click, click brrooomm. “Oh gosh oh gosh! What on earth have I got myself into! It’s 3:30 and the party starts at 4:00 AND I need more orange face paint!”
At the bakery I stood fidgeting with my fingers hoping the cake had been made the way I wanted it: lovely bright and pink with the little girl’s name on it. Aha! Phew at least the cake’s okay.
“Here you are madam that would be $130,” the cashier stammered. I passed her the money while checking where the nearest face paint shop was when I heard a shattering sound and saw a soccer ball flying through the air! Where did it land?
“Oh no, my cake NOOO” I stood in front of the cashier on the verge of tears. “Please tell me you at least give refunds” 
“Oh…  umm. . .” she stammered, then called in Mr. Kidd. He must have been in a bad mood because he kept yelling at her!! Whoever kicked that ball … I do love kids but NOT the kind that ruin my job!! Now I’ll be late for the party and kids (including the birthday girl) and parents will be waiting at a locked door. Oh my, what do I do now?  

Lydia, Year 6

The dog, Tommy’s side of the story

So I was trotting down Cranford St, when I eyed the butcher, a friend of mine, running into the meat store, like he was in a hurry. I scampered to the door. When he didn’t notice me, I barked so loud, it made him drop his knife. 1 minute later, he opened the door, and gave me a piece of steak to gobble. I grabbed it gleefully. But then… SMASH!!!
I was so startled I jumped 1 kilometre high! Well at least it felt like that. I looked towards the scene of the sound and found: a soccer ball covered in pink icing, two boys, probably from the same litter, and a…a cat! My instincts told me to sprint after it. ZOOM!!!
I ran like a blurred picture on a television. The cat hissed. I chased her into a building. She hid behind a cake. Then, just as I found her, her owner picked her up and took her away.

Robert, Year 6

 Max - Electrician’s side of the story

Slurp, slurp, sluuurp.
“Oh hello you caught me right in the middle of my coffee break, oh and my name is Max and” – CRASH!!! “Oh it’s probably just the kids across the street the probably just smashed the downstairs window, lets just hope they didn’t smash the lights.”

5 mins later…

“Good they didn’t smash the lights just the window. Well no more labour today, that reminds me it’s 4:00pm. So I’ll be gettin’ home. Seeya!”


Caleb, Year 5

Soccer balls side of story!

Toby my rough and tumble owner was kicking me along a bumpy path. When suddenly SMASH...
I crashed through a window. It was like I was flying, not in a good way though. Oh and it hurt so much like that time millions of acorns fell on me at once at Toby’s soccer practice in Autumn. But then to make it even more terrifying, I landed SPLAT right in the middle of a triple layered cake covered in sweet pink icing, I got covered in the sticky stuff. It was so much worse than the mud on the soccer field. The bakery was in chaos and I was still stuck in the cake when a lazy cat came in, jumped up on the counter and started licking me! I could say that she licked me from head to toe but I don’t have any so I’ll just focus on a nice good clean!

Libby, Year 5

Jake –The older brother’s side of the story

One crisp autumn afternoon, I was skate boarding home from school, but the footpath was rough and gravelly. I looked to the other side of the road for a better place to skate, when an old football was kicked towards my face!

I ducked, the ball smashing into the Kidd’s Bakery window behind me, squishing a cake. I looked to see who had kicked the ball.
“TOBY! You idiot!” My little brother was standing there, his hands over his mouth, his expression: horror.
“HEY! You kids!” I spun around. The bakery owner was shouting at us, beckoning angrily. Toby begrudgingly trudged over, and I joined him. I had to do something, so I didn’t take the blame.

I pulled out my cellphone and started texting furiously to Mum.
OMG! Toby smashed the window of the Kidz Bakery! U need to pick us up! We were forced to clean the mess until it was spick and span. Nobody cared that I hadn’t done anything wrong. Anger stormed in my head. I couldn’t wait until Mum came.

Julius, Year 6

Mimi’s story

One day, Me, Mama, sissy, and Dadda walked over to a café.
Mama ordered a big pie. I heard a crash and a splat, as a ball flew through the window. As that happened, a twinkly thing fell on my toy.
“NOOOO!’’ Dadda yelled as I tried to investigate, and he snatched my toy off me!
I saw red.’’Grr!’’ It was time they saw my dark side. Toy, Toy, Toy. I had to get it back. I roared. I screamed. I kicked. I bit my sister, who shouted.
’’Get Mimi off me! I scratched Dadda’s vest. I grabbed his collar, and my toy fell out of his hands. The sparkly thing fell off my toy. I knew it! I knew I could get my toy back! So we got our big pie, and I was happy.

Steve’s story

One day, Me, Nancy, Issobell, and Mimi went to the KIDD’S BACKERY, CRANFORD ST. we bought ourselves a family pie. Then, a old soccer ball crashed through the main window, and landed on an expensive looking cake. A grey cat zoomed over to lick it. Just as that happened, a piece of glass fell onto Mimi’s toy.
If Mimi touches it, she will get badly hurt. So I screamed,’’Noooo!’’ and snatched
Her toy. Mimi kicked, cried, and screamed. Tears poured from her eyes like raindrops. She bit Isobell. She scratched my vest. She grabbed my collar, and I let go of her toy. The piece of glass fell from her toy. So we got our pie, and everyone was happy.

Miyuki, Year 5

Mr Kidd- the shop owner’s side of the story

I was in my office when I heard a loud CRASH! When I saw the mess in my shop, my jaw dropped open. Something or someone had made a MASSIVE hole in my display window! There were people standing dangerously close to glass that was scattered all over the floor and the most expensive cake Kidds Cakes had ever baked was smushed by a soccer ball! Boy was the baker mad. I tried to nicely ask her to clean up the mess but I guess I was stressed. Next, I had the rather frustrating job of calling the insurance company. When I was listening to “Walking on Sunshine” for the 3rd time my cashier in training interrupted and asked me to show her how to give a refund as she hadn’t learnt yet. I ended up doing it myself because every time she did the right thing I yelled at the insurance company for putting me on hold yet again. I guess it must have sounded like I was yelling at her as she was panicking. I eventually gave up on the insurance company and tried to find the little rascal who had broken the window. I walked out the door and saw two boys slowly walking towards me one older than the other.
“OI YOU TWO!” I shouted at them “DID YOU BREAK THIS WINDOW?!” The younger boy looked up at me and tried to run away but his older brother grabbed his arm and pulled him over. I asked the boy again “Did you break this window?”
“Yes sir.” The younger boy muttered. I asked them to come inside while I called their parents to sort out who would pay for the damage. I asked the baker to look after them, and she saw that I was stressed so she didn’t argue.
I realised I still had to get this window fixed. I called a Jeffery John, and he said he was only ten minutes away; well at least something was going to get fixed today!

Emma, Year 6

Kelly - the baker’s side of the story
I was presenting my fantastic triple layer cake to the customer when out of nowhere crack tinkle! As I lifted my eyes to inspect what had happened I saw the treacherous soccer ball flying through the air at top speed towards my amazing cake! I had spent 7 hours on that spectacular cake so I was shocked when the soccer ball landed right in the middle of it. I thought ‘this customer will be so disappointed!’ She had paid $130 for it and now my best work was ruined. The window of the bakery was totally smashed now glass was flying everywhere.
The customer asked for a refund, but since Sophia was only a trainee she was struggling. The final straw was Sophia’s cat turning up like it owned the place – how unhygienic! Meanwhile Mr Kidd was phoning the insurance company and had asked me to sweep the glass that was scattered all over the floor. Since Sophia was the trainee I thought she should have been doing it, but I know better than to argue with Mr Kidd when he’s on the warpath! Eventually the boys responsible for the damage came in to apologize. I thought they would have known better than to kick a ball near a busy road!
“Kelly, give them your broom to sweep up the mess,” Mr Kidd demanded.
 I couldn’t wait for this day to be over!

Bella, Year 5

 Sophia - the cashier’s side of the story

I really felt like I was getting the hang of my new job, until…that black and white beast of a ball came and crashed into the window! The glass flew everywhere and the ball smushed into the customer’s triple layered pink frosted cake. The customer was furious she was stamping her feet and checking her watch, no matter how much I offered her in exchange for the cake she was still mad so I asked her what she wanted. She asked for a refund and of course I didn’t know how to do refunds, I asked my boss for some help but instead he yelled at me and did it himself. I felt so embarrassed I wanted to run but I didn’t. The screech of an angry baby filled the shop and I couldn’t hear myself think. I looked at what was left of the window and I saw a young boy standing on the street with a guilty look on his face. I was panicking even more because I didn’t know what to do! Meanwhile my cat Molly had let herself in to the shop and was licking the frosting off the soccer ball. My boss yelled “Get that cat out of here!” I picked her up and put her through the hole in my fence next door. When I got back into the bakery there was a man having a little nosy round I told him we were closed.

Grace, Year 6

Jeffrey John - The glazier’s side of the story

“I believe submarines.”
I was listening to my favorite album by the Lumineirs when “bing bong loo laa” my phone rang. It vibrated on the seat next to me. 
“Hello Jeffery John glazier service.”
“Hi this is John Kidd here could you please come and fix a window at Kidds Cakes on Cranford Street?”
“Okay but I might be while.” I said.
“Okay, well see you soon.” He replied.
“Dang it! I thought that my day was over. I could really use a coffee.”

When I got there I saw that the main window was smashed and cake was all over the floor among the glass shards making the floor sorta sparkle.
“How much will it cost?” asked Mr. Kidd appearing from behind the counter.
“$90” I responded.
“Fine” he moaned and handed a wad of notes to me.
“Thanks” I replied and spent the rest of the evening fixing that window.

Thomas, Year 6

Molly - The Cat’s side of the story
Bounce, bounce I Molly the best black cat was watching an extra bouncy soccer ball go from foot to foot and I was delicately preparing to pounce when the soccer ball flew into the bakery window and smashed the glass then smooshed what looked like a freshly made pink frosted triple layered cake.
‘Finally they got my order,’I muttered. I had just come through the hole in my fence to find some food for my kitten Minky since I had already had my lunch. I was too busy to notice a dog scampering towards me when it was almost too late.
“Go away silly dog this is my place and my place only!” I hissed. Then I raced into Kidds Cakes completely forgetting about Minky’s lunch and started licking as much frosting as I could without being seen .
The dog was sneeking up on me again and was just about to pounce when finally the baker, the boss, and my owner noticed me they all started shouting at me except my owner who came over  and pushed me back through the hole in the fence. Minky came running over and started liking the frosting off me. At least she was happy.

Emma, Year 5

Toby - the perpetrator’s side of the story

On an Autumn afternoon I was walking home from soccer practice at English Park when I found an old dirty soccer ball just sitting there. I knew it belonged to the club I play for but I took it anyway. I was slowly dribbling it down the street when I saw Jake my older brother “THINK FAST!” I yelled. I thought Jake would catch the ball but I kicked it with so much force he ducked and it smashed the Kidds  Bakery window behind him and smushed an expensive looking cake. “TOOOOBY! I’M TELLING MUM! ” Jake yelled.  I stood amazed at how forceful my kick was.
Suddenly I heard a voice shouting at me and for once it auctually wasn’t Jake. “Oi, you! Did you two break this window?” “Yes  sir” I muttered reluctantly. I waited inside, butterflies in my stomach knowing the horrible consequences  that will happen when the baker finished talking to mum.

Written by Lydia and Emma, Year 6